Want to act like Gordon Ramsay is judging your games? Probably not, but I thought of this due to another nickname I got in another community because of how much ‘constructive’ criticism I give. May the best game survive without getting roasted to ashes.
By entering your game you are basically telling me to make fun of it and point out any small mistake you made. I will rate games out of 5 stars, and give many issues of games. Please only submit well-made games that I will not waste my time reviewing.
Games will be graded on a building based grading system. The better the building, the better the game.
Still working on my game, it’s very small and is mostly just it being technically superior to all others, but when it’s done I’m bringing it straight here
When I play this game, the issues pop out slowly. First off, how can you forget to layer shading correctly? The effects blend in with a shadow, and it looks uglier than a laggy game. Looks are important, but how can you mess up game progression so badly? The game literally gets slightly harder then goes on infinitely. I mean, how do you explain this?
I only died because I got bored. I got bored 77 rounds ago and I still kept playing to prove my point. How can you win a flowjam with repetition? Your game is like playing pong but the ball never speeds up, and it takes forever. Also, how can you make 10 weapons so useless? Only one weapon is worth using and the boots are all garbage. At least make them fun to play with.
The garnish was pretty well done. The seasonings were sprinkled wrong, so the dish turned out lopsided. Besides that all the vegetables really compliment the look. The taste starts out too sweet and the after taste is bland like watered-down Vaseline.
4/5, can’t dislike the starting flavour when it’s that good, but the aftertaste brings it down. Quite a nice garnish but you messed up slightly on the seasonings and bell peppers.
This is hilarious, thank you so much lol But for real, seeing all of these reviews really makes me see how badly more content is needed. Looking forward to doing that so I can start the process all over again
Alright. I have a lot of stuff to say. Why is everything so static? Makes the dish look bland. Also, dealing with a little bird chirping for a long time is a pain. Why does my gun sound like a bird? Why did you just forget to add a friction mechanic? It’s not hard at all and it makes it look like you’re on ice. Also, the wave system is so boring. You literally just repetitively click on a bunch of ships before they hit you. Not really any skill in that. Plus, enemies can spawn in a circle of boulders, ruining your run and making you restart. How in the world did you make turning so hard to work with? It’s impressive how annoying it is to turn that fast or that slow. Never feels balanced. Why is there a square of boulders? Do something creative to add a border. Not just bland boulder spam. The bosses are pretty bland, you could’ve tried to make it feel like you were against something that had health.
Overall, the dish was sort of bland looking, but it smells good on the inside. The taste was okay, but had a bland aftertaste. I can tell you tried to add a kick to it with something, but trust me: it did not work. The spice is not fitting. Instead, try something sweeter, maybe something a kid would jump up for.
2/5, garnish isn’t very good, but the inside looks and smells delicious. Odd amount of spiciness.
(try figuring out what i’m suggesting based on how i suggest changes on the dish, it’s where i suggest stuff)
But for real, seeing all of these reviews really makes me see how badly more content is needed. Looking forward to doing that so I can start the process all over again 
