The Scepter Foundation - New Caben

Funny thing, I managed to hit the cap for the word count. The max is 32000 words, and the entire post was 35700 something. So, I guess this is probably the largest post on the forums.

Chapter 1, Part 2

“I know you’ve been struggling with your own thoughts, and after heavy consideration and living off of your disability from the funds of our facility, it’s probably best we will relieve you of duty of the Scepter Foundation permanently and re-enter you back into normal society. We had arrangements to get you a possible civilian job within the city to help… reconnect with society. We will continue visiting weekly to aid and hopefully get you to remember your past, but in the meantime, it’s probably best we try to get you to conform back into the world. It’s been almost two years now. The Scepter Foundation is a very dangerous operation and from your condition, it’s probably best you don’t return back into the SCU.”

I wasn’t sure if I was to feel relieved, or worried. I had too many mixed feelings and I don’t even know what I even did in the SCU. Dr. Nathaniel always had a way of reading me like an open book and noticed relieving me from my “duty” didn’t mean much to me.

“I know you’re quite young to have a condition such as this. In my many years of serving this facility, I have witnessed greater horrors than you know. I will say you are one of the lucky ones. Hopefully, you’ll remember your past. In the meantime, we’ll send you an email about possible job listings we think you’ll possibly be best in to society. It saddens me that this is the only solution, but it’s a part of the recovery process to help rehabilitate your social being.”

I was still too shocked over the idea that I used to be a commander of a military squad to really pay much attention to anything else he said. I kind of figured that I had some sort of military position in the past, but what kind of threats were I having to deal with? Have I harmed people in the past? What even does the Scepter Foundation do? I don’t have the slightest clue of what to even do at this moment. My mind flooded with too many thoughts to handle and it became unbearable.

“It’s probably best we get you home and you can rest. I can’t begin to imagine what you are probably going through and I know it’s probably too much to bear, but hopefully we’ll get you back to your normal self. If you need to schedule a visit sooner or if you remember anything new, feel free to call up an early appointment. I’m not too far away.” I felt a bit more comfortable when he walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. I sat still for a moment and soon followed as he escorted me through the facility again.

Normally he would introduce small details and I would have no trouble fitting them in, but I feel so much different today. As if the information does apply to my past, but they also don’t feel like my own. My mind was too cluttered to notice that we had already cycled through the facility to the front lobby where two personnel had been standing guard near one of the doors. A driver was to take me back to my apartment and the two guards accompanying him. I was continuously rubbing my own forehead as a migraine started to form to notice the guards or driver and after Dr. Nathaniel told me the exact time to meet next week. I was in one of the white transport vans being taken back through the city.

After a couple minutes of sitting in the van with the two guards standing around I looked up to get a better look at their face. Soon I fell into complete panic. They had similar white armor as the ones in my dream, but they didn’t have any colored insignias on their armor. Their helmet was different and one of the guards had a blacked visor across his helmet while the other had his face completely visible.

I looked away and tried to contain my breathing as my mind turned to panic. They didn’t mean any harm to me, but for some reason I fear them greatly. If I was a soldier of the SCU, then they would be my comrades. Why do I fear them? The intimidating armor and the clean shaven and brute faces. There was something I wasn’t being told, or maybe something no one knows of. The name, background, nothing feels right, but it must be. Or else who am I?


I read the first part, and found a few errors


I am confused what the word ‘brush’ means in your context. I think it means bush, but google doesn’t have any meanings.

chap 7

The phrase doesn’t make sense.

I think it should be : I feel LIKE I couldn’t fit in.

Again, I believe that it should start with a ‘to’

chap 6

I don’t think this makes much sense

Overall, I think that it is a nice, engaging chapter, and this is just my opinion, and I could be wrong.


Brush is an older term. It means like the stray limbs, branches, vegetation that could “brush” up against you. Meaning tall shrubbery.

You have to look up Brush Vegetation to get the correct definition.


Yeah, there’ll probably be some slight mistakes in there. Some word choices like “the Very Forest” was like another way of describing “the forest itself”, but I can see if it didn’t make sense.

I went ahead and edited those correction, but they’re on the actual google doc, not on the forums. But I do appreciate your input.


If you publish this, I would buy it in a heartbeat. Great work!


Happy to help!


I kind of forgot about this concept.

Another creature such as The Ceramic Skull, but Kildrictus was more advanced and not injured like Subject: 009.

I thought of the idea that there were other creatures like him, but something happened with Subject: 009 and he eventually fell to Earth without much memory. At some point he may take kindly to Hawk because the both had suffered similar pasts, despite 009 killing off one of his friends and continues to kill off other characters by means of self defense.

I had a crazy idea to make them the last of the Perfectionists which were later killed off by other threats besides the Cordiks after the first activation of the Architects and soon Eldern arrived much later.
But with their power, combined with the Architects mechanical structure, it may be more biomechanical with more bone-like structure (such as the ceramic skulls name) instead of a metal base, but it would probably change a lot of the plot.
Just some ideas.

Since the first book, New Caben, sets up the series, I probably won’t even introduce the Architect or even the mention of Cordiks until the the next book, Magnus Falling.


Sadly, I haven’t the time to read this amazing chapter. Is it OK if I copy the text for later?

1 Like

No need, you can click the bookmark icon on a post to save it for later. Click the three dots to find the bookmark icon.


I wouldn’t mind if you copied it, only for non-commercial use.
Like what John said, you could bookmark it. I have about 30 some bookmarks on this discussion alone for various characters and such.

One reason I won’t post the entire book until I have my own copyright or protection on the name is so that no one can just copy and publish it themself.

I know no one on here would probably do that, but since it is the internet, it’s possible.
Plus I don’t think my book would be very popular anyway, since reading is a dying skill and science fiction novels normally don’t do to well. Unless it’s has a really good hook throughout the series, like the Maze Runner for example.
I explain a lot of stuff on here, but the series itself is gonna be more strict on information so there’ll always be a much larger world beyond the characters.


You mean re-posting it somewhere else? I would never do such a thing.


Commercial use would be using it as a product or advertising it to others for oneself or their business.

I couldn’t think of a good term so I just said non-commercial which basically means just for private or restricted only to your eyes.

I know you all wouldn’t do it, but it was the only term I could think of, lol.


Got a Mountain Dew Kickstart, headphones in, music playing, google docs open, time to cook.


Currently editing Chapter 2 and I came across this paragraph:

One page I managed to draw some sort of figure, only it was darkened out and looked like a shadow. The head on it was strange and weirdly shaped compared to the rest of its slender body. I remembered most of the drawings I had done, but this once was different. It was created by my hands, but it also looked too detailed for my own capability, but it had some sort of reminder to it, as if I felt connected to such a figure somehow. I felt almost terrified over the eerie silhouette.

Even though I wrote it, I wasn’t quite sure what monster it was representing, but this may be the first reference to the Foremaker before him.


I now have changed the plot drastically once again. Although this doesn’t effect the first couple books, but it has to deal with the Architects, The Perfectionists, and the series beyond, so just about everything is still fine, but I changed some concepts of what I planned to use.

I don’t want to spoil too much, even though I’ve basically described the entire series a few times throughout the 2000 posts.

Another thing I found out is that I can actually publish novels through Amazon and Kindle. Where I can either sell digital copies, or I can sell paperback and hardback copies. They keep like half of the money made to pay for materials and advertising and I make the rest. Although, not sure on the rest or if the series will ever be successful, but they help protect the rights of the name and I can safely sell my story to the world. So, it may be a start for the first book or so.


I was editing the fifth chapter of New Caben and I had to change some dialogue between Solacis and Hawk during the Duel on Helidus since I originally had it that Solacis simply thought Hawk of a trespasser and attempted to kill him, but after some plot design, I realized that he actually looses on purpose.

So The Foremaker of Darkness before Hawk was actually on the same side as Xactepticus despite also communicating with Cabenus. And with Xactepticus’ plan which is to kill every Foremaker, he pursuaded Solacis that we could be killed by his own hand, which he agreed since he also saw the fault in the Foremakers. But, they later arranged it that since Hawk also possessed a power stronger than the Foremakers, they set it up that he is to kill Solacis even though he has no clue about the worlds beyond Earth. So Solacis waited for several years for Hawk, knowing he’s going to die by his hand, and it’s all for a greater purpose.


Also, I’ve edited to chapter 6 now, which is around 66 pages so I’m about a quarter of the way there of editing the story.


I wanted to include some lore regarding Johnathon Lawrence himself and how he basically became in charge of everything of the Foundation.

He inherited his position from his grandfather, Herrick Lawrence, who was one of the founders, and he took up the torch to contain foreign threats beyond their world.

At one point, an entity had come into his house and killed his wife. With pure rage, he killed the entity with his bare hands (it was only like a Sub-1, so it wasn’t like a Foremaker or anything) and ever since then, he had a hatred towards these entities. Also in the book, New Caben, he had a scar across the bridge of his nose, and it was from his 1v1 with this entity.

Since he never had any children, the only other family he had was his nephew, Cal Lawrence, who came in contact with a Mordil artifact, and he became a host for it. So, Lawrence had to lock him up for his own safety, but he would never issue a termination on him, despite doing so for hundreds of 10-Bs.
Cal ended up escaping during the Site: 012 incident when the Ceramic Skull basically freed a ton of entities.

Also, when Lawrence later approached Hawk, after knowing he was a 10-B, he hesitated to shoot at him because he regretted the termination order and didn’t agree with it himself. Lawrence saw that they were still human, but since the 10-Bs were threats, he had no choice.

But Hawk ended up escaping anyway.

From Hawk’s point of view and from various entities as well, the Foundation is displayed as the enemies, but they simply feared the unknown since 9/10 times the unknown creatures were hostile anyway.


this sounds awsome! pre rendered graphics, if you could make them would realy andd to the charm and atmoshere of that kind of game

Subject 95-A - The Affliction.

95-A has no physical form, it is spread via 95-B, a request for a welfare check on 95-C, an old, rotting corpse inside of an abandoned house.
Those afflicted with 95-A gradually descend into infinity as time speeds up to infinite singularities, having them witness infinite realities, infinite deaths, infinite lives, infinite dreams and infinite nightmares in a singular second. Eventually reality comes full circle and reality returns to normal. The only person who experiences infinity is the one afflicted. After the experience the afflicted is left a pile of flesh, forever writhing, failing to comprehend their experience. 95-A only activates once the afflicted meets 95-C, the old man’s corpse. 95-C moves after each activation of 95-A, 95-C is only able to move to abandoned houses. Those non-afflicted and in the vicinity of 95-C will feel an extreme urge to request for a welfare check on 95-C.