Character Ideas (Currently closed, but revived for analysis)

Examples & Tutorials
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Alright, here we go again @ManiacPumpkin - more elaborating upon the Writer Incident cases… Take note that these ones are a bit more joke-y, and has more insight into the world of the Facility, but also has info for the manuscript pages for about two of the books.

In a small, undisclosed location in Utah, USA (on August 31st, 2012 - no longer under redaction in lease years of August 2020 - August 2025 by the head of the Redaction and Expunged Information Department -R.E.I.D., Blake Shulton- by order of the Investigations lead officer), a number of Paranatural Happenings, and potential Parahuman Happenings, arose among a list of two recent writers (Howard Jackson; Krimson Wheeler), whose works both revolved around the horror/mystery genre. As of August 27th, they were both counted missing, and of the 31st, the three unpublished manuscripts of the writers arose from the Farborough Well, located next to the Sunset Beach Motel (see previous document on district visibility).

When Investigations officers went to the reported site, pinned by local resident Charles Yom (owner of the “Yom, that’s good! Market and Produce”). He found the whole set of two of the manuscripts, whereas the third seems to be left unfinished. Investigations officers took it the the Facility two days after, Septembr 2nd. As of writing, we have studied restlessly the two complete manuscripts, and the final incomplete manuscript.

The series goes under the name “Dark Princes and the Midnight Dust”.

Book One: “Dark, Murky Motel” review
(All summaries written by Facility novel critic Tom Boonie)
‘“Dark, Murky Motel” is an interesting start to a series of paranatural writing. It’s something we haven’t seen, but definitely have seen before as well. The first story revolves around the (undisclosed town) in Utah, where the pages were found. It revolved, however, not around our writers. It is interestingly enough written in third person, about a man named Howard Wheeler , which interestingly, is both writers names. Sharing the first name of Howard Jackson, and the last of Krimson Wheeler. The story shows Howard in school, but things go horribly wrong. We find the school floor sinking in, the lockers flying open with papers shooting out of them. The story just about had me feel like I was seeing it happen right in front of me, or that I’ve seen this sort of thing before. Anyways, we quickly find out that this Great Opening of the Earth was created by the Round Table of Dark Princes, which gained unimaginable power from a substance called the Midnight Dust.
Without spoiling too much, Howard must defeat these evil and powerful foes, while going against other creatures such as killer stuffed animals, werewolves, and even ghost cats. It’s a weird story that no one will ever read. Well, except me. What really holds me over to the next story is the killer cliffhanger, with Howard’s final lines being stuck in the Dusty Basin being, “This is only the beginning…” as he presses a final key into a piano, ringing until my mind goes blank. Strange how the things, even though minor, effect my real life experience. Really immersive. 8/10 story, most definitely paranaturally provoked.’

Book Two: “The Bottomless Well” review
‘“The Bottomless Well” is an amazing exception into the canon of the story. While the first story mainly had us explore the several rooms of the Sunset Beach Motel, we are now stuck behind one - most interesting one, in my opinion - the one holding the mysterious Dusty Basin. Apparently, the Midnight Dust wasn’t just a powerful fuel for the Dark Princes, but apparently, under the right artistic circumstances, can be used for even more. Even to alter and shift reality, even history itself. Later in the first book, we learned Howard, the book’s protagonist was a piano prodigy. We now hear him making amazing melodies, mostly melancholy, and each stroke of a key tells a new story. He must be careful though, if the mood shifts too quickly in the wrong direction, it could cause awesome destruction.
The pianist creates other worlds, more monsters crazier than even before, and the stakes are even higher as one of the Dark Princes learned how to play piano! It may seem silly now, but you really have to be in the moment to understand how intense it was knowing this. And you never will.
Another great story, somehow Howard Jackson and Krimson Wheeler went even higher with this one. I’d say 8.25/10 for this one. This one is also pretty altered.’

Book Three (incomplete): “Return to the Light”
‘You know what? The Facility set me up for this, didn’t they? Didn’t they, Joe?! I devoted so much time into the stories, these reviews, and telling them if they were altered or not, and possibly risking my life, to get to read an UNFINISHED story with a bizarre cliffhanger that I don’t know when I’ll get the answers to? You know what, [Mr. Boonie, you are not permitted to cuss in your writings] it! Howard dies in the end to stop the Dark Princes blah blah blah, I’m not even gonna italicize stuff anymore. And his final words?? “I can’t return to the light…”. Yeah, right! We all know Jackson and Wheeler are just pulling a fast one, and not writing the ending to keep the fans wanting it! Even if it’s just me, this sucks, and is ANTI-CONSUMER on their part! And it was only ten pages long, which really shows their still writing. I’ll be waiting for the rest of the pages to float up that god[this is second warning] well, and then I will complete a review! You [due to the three strikes, your writings, as well as yourself, will be terminated by being fired. Meet the executives by the Furnace Chamber at 6:00 PM]s!’

Due to lack of cooperation of the reviews, the Facility has declared the stories have altered effects but the details of the stories will remain vague until a new Facility novel critic is elected. We have detected activity at the Farborough Well, and is expected to have an occurrence in March, 2020. We expect that more manuscript documents will soon arise. Please excuse this document until a proper citation of the story is able to be presented. Please also ignore all internal Facility activity cited throughout the review sections, especially the last one. We assure you we did not put Mr. Boonie in the Furnace. That is to happen, as well, in March, 2020.

  • Investigations Head Officer, Neil Steward
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42

These are fun to write - just wondering @ManiacPumpkin, I’d be happy to write for your game, if you want any dialogue or anything, or even a plot. But anyways, here’s another concept:

The Turtle Back. In 2009, in a small Russian town Kadykchan (NOTE: Kadykchan is currently classified as a manifested “ghost town”), the barren streets were filled with what was originally described as a “wolf howl” mixed, or diluted, with a “cat’s hiss”. The witness said that their mobile device no longer functioned during the incident, hence not being able to record the phenomenon. Upon further investigation by the classified citizen who was bought there as a jest by classmates, he discovered the howling coming from a nearby collapsed mine shaft.

Kadykchan History: Kadykchan was a mining town built by gulag prisoners in the 1930’s, peaking with 10,000 residents in 1986. The prisoner’s were released sometime in the 1960’s. The town, however, suffered from the fall of the Soviet Union and caused a devaluation of coal, the towns monetary resource. Throughout the 1990’s, more residents left, and a large drop of locals in 1996 due to a mining accident, thought to be caused by potential paranormal activity in the local area. The town population then dropped to only 300 residents in 2007.With people leaving at such a extreme rate, several personal belongings had been left behind. With a possible collective conscious event, these items could also lead to links to paranormal activity.

According to the witness, while walking the streets - which had been long eroded and full of weeds - he caught a glimpse of a hunched silhouette hobbling slowly down what was once a traffic heavy road. The witness recalled that: “the traffic lights flickered on and off. My phone rang strangely, calling a number. I might have just imagined it, but I swear the number my phone was calling was just three numbers: 6-6-6. The phone just stopped and proceeded to give the message that I ‘couldn’t reach the number I was calling’. But I didn’t call anyone! The thing made grunting noises as the noise quieted down. There had been a weird screeching sound before, but it disappeared like no more than a dream. For a moment, with it just standing there doing nothing but groaning, I though this nightmare would finally disappear. But then it whipped it’s head up with me. Those eyes… Like a blind fish’s eyes. Or like eyes of a hungry lioness in the night. A faint, murky light. They looked dead. I just remember him looking like a turtle. His back hunched over looked like a shell made out of dried skin, a leather. How wore a torn, brown coat over what looked like overalls. He had a dark helmet on, though broken. After he looked up, he… He ran at me. Hobbled over. He only took a few steps forwards, but somehow, each step he took, he moved something like four yards! He didn’t seem to leap at me, just hobbled over. Once he was close of enough, he just stopped right in front of me. Close enough I could smell him. Dusty. A burnt smell. He was holding a napkin in his hand, but I could’ve imagined it. He ruffled it around a few times before putting it into his pocket. He let out a… Whimper? Of a sort? Then, stared me in the eye for what felt like hours. I couldn’t move… But then, he stretched back. It horrified me that what was a hunched monster twisted itself in the complete opposite way it was bent. Something must of broke. Heard so many cracks and splinters for there to be nothing broken. Then, he was gone. That’s all I can remember. Though I vaguely remember him saying something, something like, “help my boy”, or “land a-hoy”. My guess is the latter. Looked something like a ghost pirate, only instead of a pirate, a miner.”

The witness has been taken into the Facility for further investigation. He has since had two cases of sleep paralysis, stating he had seen the Turtle Back again. We are assuming that after an encounter, a piece mentally fixes onto a host. From the vital signs we’ve detected, the witness will perish in about two weeks, if not less, due to the lack of sleep in the fear of meeting the Turtle Back once more. We are planning in conducting an experiment to see if multiple encounters to the same subject will produce different results. We will likely perform the test(s) on the current witness, or perhaps a death row inmate.

The Turtle Back.
Appearance: Hunched, decayed being. Glowing, murky eyes at night - possibly carnivorous. Wears an old, tattered coat and in some occasions is holding a handkerchief with a star on it. Hunched over, suspected to be from a collision from the fallen mine shaft, breaking the victims back. For whatever reason, the victim is not altered. Wears large, worn boots. Cut hands. Long, damp hair. Walks in a hobbled, disabled manner. However, can travel at great speeds. DO NOT APPROACH.
(Known) Abilities: Paralysis, sleep paralysis, hallucinations, returning bad memories, causing electrical surges, unknown phone calls (numbers vary: 6-6-6, 1-3-3, 3-3-3, most commonly 6-6-5), covering large distances in abnormal speeds. Reported to also be able to dislocate jaw to devour small prey - commonly rodents. The Turtle Back has been observed to fear dogs and cats.

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uhhh the ramshackle wrench:
an unkillable enemy that looks like a wrench…“yeah!”…

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Got to admit @Ramshacklegamestudiosyours is deffinetly better than @rcreger one lol ok no I’m actually sorry i just had to lol

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lol @GrimProductionZ idk

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Sorry, i’ve been sick all week and I haven’t had time to actually read anyones submissions, but I did do a quick skim over and just would like to thank everyone who participated in this and this means a lot to mean and for my future game. So thank you all.

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47

Alright at back everyone! Still sick, but I can at least do some typing. I should just make @rcreger the CEO of Character development and documents detail since the stories are so good. Also @Ramshacklegamestudios I’ll have to think about that one. I know that I helped with Dom reboot, but I’m still confused on most details of what a wretch is, maybe give like size, weight, maybe an origin story, just some minor details and maybe some attacks or effects it could have on people. Just figured that I would ask you instead of guessing. Although, I’m terribly sorry if you already said this in Dom Reboot, I have a memory of a goldfish.

Might need a recap.

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lol @ManiacPumpkin I was joking around. I said Wrench not wretch because wrenches are kinda my new thing (look at my profile picture) But if you really want to I’ll give you more details and you can put them in your game

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Sorry, I thought you said Wretch, but It auto corrected, lol. If you could please give further detail then I would be glad to hear it.

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The wretch is a parasite-like being that was formed by radiation during the 22 century (you can change this) while humans were testing new ways to fuel space shuttles. Many scientists died in the studying of wretches because of their special ability to control a human body for about an hour and 13 minutes. To take control of a human body a wretch climbs in though the eye socket leaving a distinctive scar around your right eye. Because of the amount of strain on the human body the wretches are constantly looking for new hosts before the 1 hour 13 minutes is finished. The longest a wretch has ever been in a human is 1 hour 42 minutes and 7 seconds

Tell me if you need more info

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That’s about it, although how big are they exactly, I can tell their pretty small since they can climb into your eye socket, but are they long like centipedes, if so then how long. In my game, I just need to know how big to make them compared to the player. (Just now noticed that I may be asking for a lot.)

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about the size of an average male foot

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Glad to have you back @ManiacPumpkin - and if that position is open, I’d gladly take it. No money needed, it’s just fun to right. Just some crediting where it’s due would be much appreciated.

I’ll be thinking up some more things as well, so stay tuned for that.

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@rcreger yeah. I’m broke so I can’t really pay people for their work, but I will give credit to everyone who suggested or submitted something. Even if someone submitted something, but never got their submission into the game, I’ll still give credit for Concept ideas. There are going to be a lot of characters in the game so I figured that I would need all the help I can get and I can say that you @rcreger have definitely helps a lot, so thank you a lot.

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@ManiacPumpkin maybe you could have scrapped ideas or suggestions as easter eggs? That’s what the creator of Baldi’s Basics said he would do.

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No problem @ManiacPumpkin, it’s really fun to get these things sorted up. I would probably be what’s labeled as “world designer”, which is a great role. Organizing characters, how they work, how they’ll fit in, the difference between character from another, the aspects of the world… Come to think of it, I should figure out something for the Facility specifically. Such as guidelines, or maybe how their system works.

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@MetaNinja that’s not a bad idea. In SCP containment breach, they had rubber duckies as easter eggs (Not sure why, [but my game is based off of the same aspect of SCP]) so It would be pretty cool to add different easter eggs resembling concepts and stuff.

@rcreger when you mean guidelines and systems, you mean just how different characters work and function around the player? Sorry, I got a little bean boozled there. I didn’t know if you meant rules for the entire game, or just character functions, or both. Also I don’t mind ranking you to World Designer.

I would add a dev team for you all to help me, but I just never bring myself to doing it. I feel uncomfortable when other people work on my game, and I know you guys probably won’t do anything wrong, I just always get this feeling. Thats why I usually work on most of my games alone, but with concept help on the forums. I just don’t want someone accidentally making a mistake and it could effect the game, but then again I make lots of mistakes, but this way, I feel it’s easier for me to understand all that is going on in a game instead of keeping tract of who is doing what. You understand right?

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By functions, I mean how the basic functions of the world itself. How doors work, certain rooms, the purposes of said rooms, restricted areas and the cause of their restrictions. My thought for it is to be immersive, so everything has to believable in the world sense. So say if you add a puzzle, I’d have to come up for a reason for that puzzle to exist in the world - perhaps it was an obnoxious co-worker pulling a prank on friends, or possibly a demented altered being picking fun at it’s victim. All of this will be checked if you agree with it, of course, you being the director of the project.
As for the dev team, I’m totally fine with that. Some visual updates here and there would suffice in my opinion. Maybe some info on gameplay, some sprites/animations, how the UI for documents (or however you decide to display them) will work, etc. Just some written updates in a DM form would be great so we can get an idea what’s in the works, and what we’re working with.

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Well, I switched to phone to reply, so imma be here a while. Documents, hasn’t been added yet, but I plan on making it a non inventorial space, so it won’t appear in the inventory, but I will have a sprite that when opened will have a list of all documents, maybe 20 at the least, one per creature and extras for scientific stuff. The document menu allows you to view each document that you have found, which documents will act as keycards by spawning on desks near their designated location (example; document for Subject 009 will appear near or inside Subject 009’s containment, since he escaped and you are able to explore the room.) When you find a document, it will unlock in the menu and you can therefore examine it anytime you want in the game. (Maybe make it save, so players can keep track on which documents they found even after they leave the game) maybe I’ll add this in the main menu so you can examine different creatures before you start the game, but you have to find them first. After you find a document you can then click on it and the document will appear with the label behavior on top of it with the text. The text will consist of the information regarding the main theme or creature it posses. Then there will be an X in the top left hand corner so you can then exit the document to view another one or continue the game. The document menu will be triggered by a key on the keyboard, cause I’m lazy to add clickable sprites.

Also puzzles, I do plan on having wiring up puzzles similar to that in the game called Among Us, where you have to drag wires across the screen and match them with other wires of same color. This will be added to unlock damaged doors and access of other machinery.

Doors, since I’m to lazy to make multiple doors with different animations, I’ll be using the same door for most of the game, might add more who knows. When you collect keycards, it will activate certain doors that can only be accessed by high level maintenance.

Key cards: only five different level keycards where five being the highest and most useful.

Some other features I added is gassed or steamed up hallways. You have to press space to hold your breath to walk through the gas that leaked into certain hallways either by damage, or as a containment breach procedure. If you hold your breath for too long, your health starts to slowly dwindle, but if you don’t hold your breath through then you instantly start taking damage and lose all of your breath until you leave the gaseous area.

I want to keep going, but I feel like most of this has almost nothing to do with what you said, now my finger hurts lol.

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Thanks for some of the insight. Personally, I feel finding the documents in the main menu is probably the best idea, and maybe easier to execute, since it won’t go over the main game, and hence won’t drop any frames. When you mentioned that they unlock, I was sold for those. Perhaps the player can get an award if they find them all as well, to make exploration more rewarding to the player.

I’m fine with all of the rest of the stuff as well, as they make sense. Visual indicators such as scratch marks on doors that are broken might be a way to tell a story without saying anything, too. I’m personally thinking of an area, or hallway, leading up to the Writer’s Incidents cases. The idea is that the hallway will suddenly become submerged and the water rising, the lights blinking in and out (the hallway will already be dim, but this makes it feel more claustrophobic). Like the gaseous chambers you mentioned, holding your breath for too long will hurt you, and going in without holding your breath will instantly have effects. This could also display some character water physics. When at the end, which is touching the next door down the hallway (the doors were locked, then flooded), the lights would go out one more time showing all the water gone. Maybe a puddle here and there. Thing is, the door isn’t even open yet. It takes a second, and then, poof. A single stream of light goes into a dark room where the research and containment of the Writer’s Incidents cases are.

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